Misc./Awesome news!! :)

I start my internship at a Dental Office today! WOOT! WOOT! I'm not nervous just excited..Its helping because I already know the people in there because that is the dentist I go to. I'm just excited that I'm out of the classroom and away from the complainers about everything. Overall, I'm EXCITED! WAHOO!!! :)

So, for those of you that don't know...I'm a BIG Biggest Loser fan! I watch it every Tuesday night at 8:00-10:00 and schedule my life around it on Tuesdays. The other night my Home Teachers asked me if they could come over Tuesday night around 8 and I said that I was staying out at my grandparents house because my pap needs me! haha. anyway, you should see me when i watch this show..I usually sit down and eat a bowl full of ice cream, a bag of chips and soda and watch it. I really like Mike, Filipe and Kristen. I did like Ron but after last weeks episode--not anymore. Mike and Ron are the father son team and I'm telling you what--If mike asked me to marry him right now the answer would be heck yes! but then I decided that I didn't want Ron as a father in law so that plan backfired....

Over the past few years, I really haven't had a testimony of the church. I had it when I was a kid and up until I was a sophomore in High School. I haven't even picked up the scriptures my whole life and had personal scripture reading time. A couple years ago, I asked my cousin Brandon about the church and he gave me a GREAT scripture to look at and its one of my favorites. Its Moroni 10:4 it says:

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost"

I always look back on that scripture and do what it says. I often look back on that night when Brandon and I had an hour and a half discussion on the church. It helped. I tried harder in life. Then, of January last year, a good friend of mine went on a misson and I remember contemplating on going on one. Then, last May, something happened and I decided that I was going to blame Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for it. So, I pulled the plan on going on a mission. A couple months ago, I had a 45 minute conversation with my cousin, Jared on the church. He challenged me, just like Brandon, to sit and read the scriptures. It was hard but I did it. When I did, I felt a rush of peace come over me. Since then, I have started to believe again. I gained a testimony of Joseph Smith, Jesus Christ and the scriptures.

Someone that has also helped me (whether she knows it or not) is my cousin Kristen. I sometimes read her blogs and what she has to say about the church and it helps me in everyway. I can tell she really loves the church and everything about it. So do the rest of my family. I haven't been to the temple since I was a Junior in high school...which is 3 YEARS!!! Whoa! I feel though with all my mistakes in life, I don't feel worthy enough to go in but one of these days...I will. I want to go with people that have helped me in every shape and form.

Since talking to my cousins about the church, reading the scriptures, and going to Institute I have felt that the church is true. I don't like to admit it, but its true. I have a testimony of Joseph Smith, and Jesus Christ. There are still kinks that I have to work on but I know I'll get them. I'm thankful for everyone that has helped me along the way. One of my favorite songs is "Angel" by Beverly Mitchell my favorite line(s) are :

"Have you felt the strength of an angel
When you needed it the most
Lifted by those gentle wings
You know you're not alone
Every now and then I feel the peace inside
Wherever life may take me, I'm guided by that light"

I'm really thankful for my cousins. They are really awesome. For the past 13 years that we have lived out here, I have missed out on all the things going on out in Idaho. I've missed out on parties, graduations, weddings, etc. I miss having my older cousins around and its hard not having older cousins out here in Pennsylvania, but by the examples that my cousins have set for me--I can be that example for my cousins out here in PA. I really love going out there because it helps me strengthen my relationships with my family members. Just remember..FAMILIES ARE FOREVER....DANG IT!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm getting married the second.....THE SECOND SOMEONE ASKS ME!!! AHAHAHA!!!

Grandpa Moss

Back in January, my dad came to us about the idea about going out to Idaho in April for Easter. Of course, we all said yes! Then a couple days later, he told me "I'm thinking about going out in February..its alot closer" Leading up to the weeks before Idaho, I knew something was wrong with my grandpa moss. I had overheard my parents night after night talking about the situation and such. So, a few days before the trip I had asked my mom what was going on out in Idaho. She told me. I said "oh" I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless. At that time, I knew I had to prepare myself going out there preparing for the worse. When we got there, I was surprised to see what I didn't expect. I saw my Grandpa lying in a bed completely helpless. BUT we were blessed that he was alert the first couple days we were there. I remember walking into their house and seeing my siblings just break down. I remember telling myself to be strong and to smile. Because thats what he would've wanted. So, for two days I kept it all inside. Until one day, it was a Friday, we got word that he wasn't doing too good. As I sat there surrounded by family, I realized that I have been blessed with an amazing family. I remember sitting at my Aunt Taunas house thinking ahead to two days where I knew I had to say goodbye to my grandpa. She reminded me that this wasn't going to be the final goodbye just the last goodbye until we see him again. As I said goodbye, I remember telling him that I loved him and I would miss him. Although, he was sleeping while we left, he nodded his head while my dad told him we had to go back to Pennsylvania. As I held his hand, I reflected on the past 20 years of my life with my Grandpa. All were great memories that I still look back on today. Five days after we got home, it was a Sunday night. I was home with Kellen and about a half hour earlier got off the phone to my dad who was still in Idaho with Grandpa. When my mom, ashley, and megan got home from my grandparents..in walked my Pap. I had no idea what he was doing there. Then, my mom gathered us all in the living room (which i thought was just a meeting to discuss what was going on that week since she was heading out to Idaho). Then she told us that he had passed away about an hour ago. I remember just breaking down and not wanting to be around anybody except for my family. The next couple days were hard because I wanted to be out there for the services. No matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about my family out there. To this day, I'm still frustrated about it. I think the main reason was that we never got closure. Yeah, we saw him while he was sick and that was the sickest we've ever seen him. But, it hurt knowing that the rest of my family got closure..finally seeing him at peace and saying their goodbyes. The closure I never got. The closure I need.

One scripture that I found most helpful during this time was found in Alma 40:11-12: "Now concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection-Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life"

"And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."

I know that my Grandpa is up in heaven with his family right now having a big reunion and telling them about his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. Your probably wondering "why bring this up now? two months after he died?" I'm bringing it up because his birthday was this past week and its been hard on me. I'm thankful for my family that has helped me in anyway possible. I know that my Grandpa is watching over me and is proud of me.He loved his family very much and was proud of all of them. Just like I do today. I love my family and I'm grateful for them each and everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. I hope that we can continue keeping in touch throughout the years because they are the best family I've ever had!!!!

Lifes Good

So, this past weekend, my family and I went to D.C. for a couple days. We left on Friday and we were about an hour away from our hotel when we pulled over at a rest area and we had a flat tire! BUMMER!! At least I had my Ipod. We got the spare put on (let me rephrase that--my dad put it on) and when he got the spare on...it was flat...wahoo. So my madre called AAA and sent a dude out to pump air in it. We finally got a new tire and were on our way. Friday night we went to the D.C. visitor center to see my friend perform in a concert for her school..it was really good. Then, we headed downtown to look at the monuments...It was the first time that I ever saw the monuments at night all lit up and it was beautiful! Saturday we decided that we were going to go to the museums but when we got up..it was RAINING!!! So, stupid me forgot to pack a sweatshirt with a hood and all I had was a cotton jacket with a hood--did i forget to mention it was like 50 degrees out?? yepp! we went to the the American History Museum and waited in a line for 20 minutes. When we got in, it was packed!! I mean, lines every which way. I wanted to go see the Lincoln exhibit..but there was a line..I wanted to go see the First Ladies section..and you guessed it..A LINE!! so we decided to blow the joint and go to the Air and Space..I was in a bad mood once we reached this place so I decided to sit it out. It looked pretty cool from what I saw. So, after that museum we decided to head home..FINALLY!! it was a good trip we just wished it was nicer weather. So, then for Easter we went to my grandparents house. My uncle was there that I hadn't seen for 3 months and my 2nd cousin that I hadn't seen since Christmas. The food was good and visiting was fun too!

A couple weekends ago was Conference and my favorite talk was given by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was titled "None were with him" to basically sum it all up--Christ walked alone a majority of his life especially while in Gethsamane. Then, he said that we don't have to walk alone which is why we have been given teachers, mentors, family on both sides of the veil, etc. I'm grateful for those that have walked beside me all my life. I have been blessed with a great family and I love them!

<-- we broke two of these rules: we broke the no pets rule by bringing kellen in and the no smoking one..i broke that one :) jkjkjkjk