Grandpa Moss

Back in January, my dad came to us about the idea about going out to Idaho in April for Easter. Of course, we all said yes! Then a couple days later, he told me "I'm thinking about going out in February..its alot closer" Leading up to the weeks before Idaho, I knew something was wrong with my grandpa moss. I had overheard my parents night after night talking about the situation and such. So, a few days before the trip I had asked my mom what was going on out in Idaho. She told me. I said "oh" I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless. At that time, I knew I had to prepare myself going out there preparing for the worse. When we got there, I was surprised to see what I didn't expect. I saw my Grandpa lying in a bed completely helpless. BUT we were blessed that he was alert the first couple days we were there. I remember walking into their house and seeing my siblings just break down. I remember telling myself to be strong and to smile. Because thats what he would've wanted. So, for two days I kept it all inside. Until one day, it was a Friday, we got word that he wasn't doing too good. As I sat there surrounded by family, I realized that I have been blessed with an amazing family. I remember sitting at my Aunt Taunas house thinking ahead to two days where I knew I had to say goodbye to my grandpa. She reminded me that this wasn't going to be the final goodbye just the last goodbye until we see him again. As I said goodbye, I remember telling him that I loved him and I would miss him. Although, he was sleeping while we left, he nodded his head while my dad told him we had to go back to Pennsylvania. As I held his hand, I reflected on the past 20 years of my life with my Grandpa. All were great memories that I still look back on today. Five days after we got home, it was a Sunday night. I was home with Kellen and about a half hour earlier got off the phone to my dad who was still in Idaho with Grandpa. When my mom, ashley, and megan got home from my grandparents..in walked my Pap. I had no idea what he was doing there. Then, my mom gathered us all in the living room (which i thought was just a meeting to discuss what was going on that week since she was heading out to Idaho). Then she told us that he had passed away about an hour ago. I remember just breaking down and not wanting to be around anybody except for my family. The next couple days were hard because I wanted to be out there for the services. No matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about my family out there. To this day, I'm still frustrated about it. I think the main reason was that we never got closure. Yeah, we saw him while he was sick and that was the sickest we've ever seen him. But, it hurt knowing that the rest of my family got closure..finally seeing him at peace and saying their goodbyes. The closure I never got. The closure I need.

One scripture that I found most helpful during this time was found in Alma 40:11-12: "Now concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection-Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life"

"And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."

I know that my Grandpa is up in heaven with his family right now having a big reunion and telling them about his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. Your probably wondering "why bring this up now? two months after he died?" I'm bringing it up because his birthday was this past week and its been hard on me. I'm thankful for my family that has helped me in anyway possible. I know that my Grandpa is watching over me and is proud of me.He loved his family very much and was proud of all of them. Just like I do today. I love my family and I'm grateful for them each and everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. I hope that we can continue keeping in touch throughout the years because they are the best family I've ever had!!!!