Grandpa Moss

Back in January, my dad came to us about the idea about going out to Idaho in April for Easter. Of course, we all said yes! Then a couple days later, he told me "I'm thinking about going out in February..its alot closer" Leading up to the weeks before Idaho, I knew something was wrong with my grandpa moss. I had overheard my parents night after night talking about the situation and such. So, a few days before the trip I had asked my mom what was going on out in Idaho. She told me. I said "oh" I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless. At that time, I knew I had to prepare myself going out there preparing for the worse. When we got there, I was surprised to see what I didn't expect. I saw my Grandpa lying in a bed completely helpless. BUT we were blessed that he was alert the first couple days we were there. I remember walking into their house and seeing my siblings just break down. I remember telling myself to be strong and to smile. Because thats what he would've wanted. So, for two days I kept it all inside. Until one day, it was a Friday, we got word that he wasn't doing too good. As I sat there surrounded by family, I realized that I have been blessed with an amazing family. I remember sitting at my Aunt Taunas house thinking ahead to two days where I knew I had to say goodbye to my grandpa. She reminded me that this wasn't going to be the final goodbye just the last goodbye until we see him again. As I said goodbye, I remember telling him that I loved him and I would miss him. Although, he was sleeping while we left, he nodded his head while my dad told him we had to go back to Pennsylvania. As I held his hand, I reflected on the past 20 years of my life with my Grandpa. All were great memories that I still look back on today. Five days after we got home, it was a Sunday night. I was home with Kellen and about a half hour earlier got off the phone to my dad who was still in Idaho with Grandpa. When my mom, ashley, and megan got home from my grandparents..in walked my Pap. I had no idea what he was doing there. Then, my mom gathered us all in the living room (which i thought was just a meeting to discuss what was going on that week since she was heading out to Idaho). Then she told us that he had passed away about an hour ago. I remember just breaking down and not wanting to be around anybody except for my family. The next couple days were hard because I wanted to be out there for the services. No matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about my family out there. To this day, I'm still frustrated about it. I think the main reason was that we never got closure. Yeah, we saw him while he was sick and that was the sickest we've ever seen him. But, it hurt knowing that the rest of my family got closure..finally seeing him at peace and saying their goodbyes. The closure I never got. The closure I need.

One scripture that I found most helpful during this time was found in Alma 40:11-12: "Now concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection-Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life"

"And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."

I know that my Grandpa is up in heaven with his family right now having a big reunion and telling them about his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. Your probably wondering "why bring this up now? two months after he died?" I'm bringing it up because his birthday was this past week and its been hard on me. I'm thankful for my family that has helped me in anyway possible. I know that my Grandpa is watching over me and is proud of me.He loved his family very much and was proud of all of them. Just like I do today. I love my family and I'm grateful for them each and everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. I hope that we can continue keeping in touch throughout the years because they are the best family I've ever had!!!!

Lifes Good

So, this past weekend, my family and I went to D.C. for a couple days. We left on Friday and we were about an hour away from our hotel when we pulled over at a rest area and we had a flat tire! BUMMER!! At least I had my Ipod. We got the spare put on (let me rephrase that--my dad put it on) and when he got the spare on...it was flat...wahoo. So my madre called AAA and sent a dude out to pump air in it. We finally got a new tire and were on our way. Friday night we went to the D.C. visitor center to see my friend perform in a concert for her school..it was really good. Then, we headed downtown to look at the monuments...It was the first time that I ever saw the monuments at night all lit up and it was beautiful! Saturday we decided that we were going to go to the museums but when we got up..it was RAINING!!! So, stupid me forgot to pack a sweatshirt with a hood and all I had was a cotton jacket with a hood--did i forget to mention it was like 50 degrees out?? yepp! we went to the the American History Museum and waited in a line for 20 minutes. When we got in, it was packed!! I mean, lines every which way. I wanted to go see the Lincoln exhibit..but there was a line..I wanted to go see the First Ladies section..and you guessed it..A LINE!! so we decided to blow the joint and go to the Air and Space..I was in a bad mood once we reached this place so I decided to sit it out. It looked pretty cool from what I saw. So, after that museum we decided to head home..FINALLY!! it was a good trip we just wished it was nicer weather. So, then for Easter we went to my grandparents house. My uncle was there that I hadn't seen for 3 months and my 2nd cousin that I hadn't seen since Christmas. The food was good and visiting was fun too!

A couple weekends ago was Conference and my favorite talk was given by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was titled "None were with him" to basically sum it all up--Christ walked alone a majority of his life especially while in Gethsamane. Then, he said that we don't have to walk alone which is why we have been given teachers, mentors, family on both sides of the veil, etc. I'm grateful for those that have walked beside me all my life. I have been blessed with a great family and I love them!

<-- we broke two of these rules: we broke the no pets rule by bringing kellen in and the no smoking one..i broke that one :) jkjkjkjk

Life

Looking at my blog I could tell that it needed some updating!! This past month I have been going through some changes. Good Changes may I add. Back in February my grandpa passed away so that has been a change..adjusting to him not being around anymore. I have my moments where I'm okay but other days, I act like a blubbering idiot.
I have always had a hard time with the church. The fact of believing it. Recently, I have started reading my scriptures and parts of me actually believe it. Now, I'm in the point in my life where in one year I will be 21 and thinking about a mission. I have to start preparing now though. I have really thought about this past year and what an amazing experience it would be! I have been reading the scriptures to believe what its saying. I'm thinking of taking a day trip up to Palmyra, NY and to believe in the JS story like I used too....

Concert

<------- having fun with grapes! I was laughing and taking the pic. at the same time. I'm such a dork...

So, for many of you that don't know, I am a HUGE David Archuleta Fan! I have a poster in my room, I have one dresser that is for David stuff only (david dresser of fame!) and I have even made the effort to see him in concert! A couple Sundays ago, me and a friend from work traveled down to Allentown for this shindig. As we got to the concert place (crocodile rock--name for the club)..we weren't that hungry and by looking around the town we decided not to eat there since we weren't in the mood for food poisoning. So we take Zebra Cakes and Kashi Bars and decide that that would be enough to last us for the night....WRONG! I was so stinkin' hungry! (which we finished 15 min. after getting in line) There was a Subway nearby and we figured we would get something there and eat it in line...IT WAS CLOSED! I was mad..and if you know me-- when Fat Kid needs to eat Fat Kid needs to eat! So we stood in line for 2 hours waiting for them to open the doors and in the meantime I had to go to the Restroom and so did my friend. So, we decided that she would go and then I would go....she went and came back and told me to go ahead. I looked at her and looked around this town and noticed that there were guys looking at us giving creepy looks and backed out. So, finally the doors opened and off we go inside. It was a stand only concert and I would be lucky if I even got to see my man. ugh. Luckily, I brought my camera to take pics. of the concert! After screaming my guts out and enjoying this concert, I decide to stand in line to get memoribilia. I got a shirt, buttons, and a poster. Anyway, by the time the concert was over and starving to death, we decide we would drive awhile until we got out of this town and stop at WaWa (like a sheetz but better). We didn't get home until 2am and we both had to be in school at 8. ugh.

Me and Whit David

On the way down, I made a video (which I act like I'm high/drunk. I'm such a dork) and took pictures because I was so bored. I'll only upload some of them. hopefully it works...

I'VE BEEN TAAAAAAGED!! This actually seems like a lot of fun and I think it could make for some pretty funny pictures! The rules are:1. Go to your documents/picture.2. Go to your 6th file.3. Go to your 6th photo.4. Post and blog about it.5. Tag 6 people to do the same.

This picture was taken at my cousin Kristens wedding reception. Of course, I look at lot better now. I was trying to suck in my stomach on this picture because I had more rolls than a bakery and I hated that dress since it showed practically everything. Anyway, this is one of my favorite pictures not only because it has only the two best cousins in the whole world, its the fact that no matter how far away we live we still love eachother and enjoy each others company.

I tag: whoever reads this!

Final Goodbye

So...this past month, my dad bought our family tickets to go to Idaho in February!! We were totally excited to see family that we haven't seen in 2 years!! Whoa! We couldn't wait to see our cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents! About 2 weeks before we flew out there my grandpa got sick. About a week before we came out, he came home from the hospital. He wasn't doing very well at all so we knew we had to prepare ourselves to say the final goodbye. The trip was fun...getting to spend time with everybody. The day that we left was probably the hardest and the day that I had been dreading the most. As we were leaving, we had been given the option if we wanted to say goodbye or not. I knew if I didn't I would regret it. So I said goodbye. That was really hard. Knowing that that was going to be the last time I saw my grandpa was really hard. I remember the good times that I had with him and alot of them make me laugh, cry and make me feel like a dork for how stupid I was back then. Overall, I have to say that this trip made me thankful for my family out in Idaho. Even though, we have our ups and downs, we still stick together!!

Bad Day!!!

So..i had a very bad today. It started with this morning before I left for school. I lost the keys to the car and was running late. I remembered seeing the keys on the counter but not knowing where I had put them or if I did anything with them. School starts at 8:30 and it was 8:25 (i live like 3 min. away from the school but I hate to be late to anything)...anyway, so I was like forget this and was getting ready to walk (walking distance is a mile and a half-two miles) when i found my keys....THEY WERE IN MY POCKET!!! I was ticked. haha. So I'm walking in the parking lot headed for the front entrance when I slip on black ice. I just sat there for a minute thinking "oh crap, is this what my day is going to be like?" so i got up and not even 5 seconds later I fall in the snow...by this point I had had it!!! ugh! So I finally got to class thinking "okay, maybe it won't be so bad in here" well, when we were doing our assigned jobs....I was getting in the closet to get more suctions and when I was walking back to one of the operatories I hear this noise come in from the closet and all the suctions had fallen on the floor so I had to pick them up, put them in sterilization....while i'm picking these up off the floor I had started crying...I don't know what was with me this morning...this past weekend i was emotional. anyway, i hope tomorrow i have a better day tomorrow!!